Our Life

Being Thankful, and the holidays!

2011-11-29T13:56:00.001-08:00

We have a lot to be thankful for in the Wickam household. Sometimes, it is hard to remember to be thankful for everything. We have been blessed with a great family that is there for us when we need them the most. We are blessed with great friends to share our time with. We are blessed to have a roof over our heads and great paying jobs.

Be happy with what you have right? We still long for a baby, a house of our own, and for life to be a little easier. Who doesn't have a wish list?

I always get a little anxiety around this time of year, because Thanksgiving holds a huge memory in my life. I'm not sure if I'd call it bad, but it's definitely not a great memory. Coming home for Thanksgiving to find my parent's home a little out of order. A moved coffee table, things on the floor, a pan on the stove with food in it... all just a little out of the ordinary. My parents were nowhere to be found. No calls, no answers on cell phones, called family members, no one knew... My dad had been taken to the emergency room for coughing up large amounts of blood, I think we had already been told he could possibly have cancer at this point, but to be honest - it's a blur. My dad was then taken to ICU in St. Joseph at Heartland Medical from Harrison County ER. Thanksgiving wasn't so awesome that year.

I suppose I also get a little anxiety about holidays, money, stress, family. It's all a part of it.We are starting to get our routine down, once children come into the picture that all may change. I don't even really care about the gifts anymore, although, I do enjoy seeing the little ones open up present. It's about spending time together and enjoying the holiday as a family. My side of the family has a hard time getting together for the holidays. My immediate family makes plans after January - because it's easier, closer to birthdays, and not rushed and stressful. We are able to take more time off work, cheaper flights or hotel deals, etc. We prefer it that way.I do miss the holiday traditions, though. We don't have those so much anymore. I suppose that's just something we have to learn to make ourselves or get over it.

One tradition I've made for myself, is Christmas/Holiday cards. I enjoy writing in them and sending them out. I love receiving them in my mailbox, too. I've done this ever since I've really been out living on my own (without a roommate) and make an even bigger deal out of it now that J.R. and I are together. We have done this every year we have been together. We try to include pictures, but I was kind of late with that this year, so I'm not sure if I'll have the pictures back in time. I hope anyway!

What are your family traditions over the years? Have they changed? Have you made new traditions for yourself and your immediate family?

Vent

2011-09-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

I am filled with mixed emotions right now. Yesterday was a pretty rough day, and I'm not so sure the rest of this week will get better.

JR's Grandma Rose is in the hospital. She recently moved to a new retirement apartment in Lenexa. She has Alzheimer's and was declining rapidly. Her son, Danny shared a house with her. He had a series of strokes and was put in the hospital and a rehabilitation center (which conveniently is in the same retirement community as Grandma Rose). The family felt that moving her and Danny there would be best for her. Which is how we acquired the house. We were to move in and take care of it and are in the process of buying it. (We have a waiting period due to SSR and probate)

They recently found out a few weeks ago that she had skin cancer. It was several layers deep and would require surgery, but that was about all they could offer for it right now. She just retired and stopped working 3 years ago, She is 84 I believe. She had surgery Monday morning to remove the cancer. They got what they believe to be all of it, and gave her a stunning glowing report. Monday evening she had a stroke.

I don't really understand sometimes... why we have to go through the things we do just to live life. Why allow her cancer to be taken care of but yet suffer from a stroke?

She is very confused and disoriented at times, and doesn't understand why she is in the hospital. Lucidness at times lasted less than five minutes. She at one point last night, got very upset and was confused as to "why all these people were in her house and wishes everyone would leave her alone". It broke my heart to see her this way. Not to mention for my MIL who has to deal with it, and hear some of the awful things like how she doesn't love her and hates her and she is mean for doing this to her. I know it's because she is confused and isn't in her right mind, but I am sure it still hurts!

I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I feel incredibly helpless, especially for JR - He isn't one to really share his emotions and feelings much, and I know he is struggling dealing with this too.

My friend Becky (a super sweet supportive girl I've met through the nest, and was my TTC buddy) and her husband Adam are struggling with a very important decision. Becky is 20 weeks pregnant, and they recently found out they were expecting a baby girl. They have named her Addison. They also recently found out that she has a heart problem. One that doesn't offer a very high quality of life. They have to make a decision to go through with the pregnancy which could mean years of painful surgeries, poor quality of life, and heartbreak. Or to terminate the pregnancy, and suffer heartbreak of losing a little girl that they have been waiting so patiently for.

To me, that is the worst kind of decision you'd ever have to make. I can't even imagine.

My friends Bill and Tera suffered infertility for years, and were finally blessed with a baby after 7 years of trying. We are awaiting the birth of little miss Ayla Rose as we speak!

There's just so much going on in our lives right now that definitely makes me question why things are the way they are. It's also allowed for JR and I to talk openly about different situations and how we feel about them. Which is kind of nice because it puts perspective on a lot.

JR and I came up with a plan. I have been contemplating Gastric Bypass surgery for multiple reasons. Part of which because I have tried and failed miserably at losing weight, and because we also suffer from infertility. Statistics show after a year (where its the healtiest) women with infertility were able to have a chance at conceiving a child. Right now, we want nothing more than to become parents. We have discussed it, and I am going to pursue the surgery. Which means there is a long hard road ahead, and I'm just starting out, this may or may not happen for me. We have decided it would best to try and if it gave us a chance at pregnancy, then we would wait a year and a half before actively trying again. We also discussed by the age of 30, if we are unable to get pregnant, that we may look into adoption.

While I'm scared with all the challenges we face and I may face regarding weight loss surgery and health wise. I also know that something rewarding could be waiting for me.

I have such a heavy heart right now, but I know in time things are a part of a bigger plan. I'm just waiting to discovery where my place is in this and to get started.

J.R.'s Birthday

2011-09-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

We were able to go out for J.R.'s Birthday. I talked him into to deciding to go somewhere we wouldn't normally go (mainly because we ALWAYS go to the same restaurants and it was his birthday, lets do something special!) so we went to Cinzetti's (if you aren't from KC, it's an italian buffet type). He enjoyed it, but I was rather disappointed with a few things. I am wondering if my tastebuds just aren't as good as they used to be. I told J.R. last night that I always try some of the desserts knowing that they weren't very good the last time, I guess just hoping it changes! lol. We were going to go see a movie, but the one he wanted to see didn't start til real late and he had to be up early this morning.

We had a really good talk on the way home. We came up with a plan for the next two years regarding a few specific things. I will divulge into that later. It made me really confident about life and about our marriage.

I don't really have too many plans for today, other than cleaning house. It needs it, and we are having company on Wednesday after my staff meeting. My best friend from up home is coming down with her daughter (she's about 9 months old) for a dr's appt and I invited them (and her boyfriend and his friend) over for supper. We are planning on grilling.

Thursday I am hoping to go take a look at a vehicle that I really want to buy, and hoping I am able to. We will see.

I work Thursday Night, but it should be a pretty easy night as only one patient. Then the next two days we have the annual KASP meeting for sleep technicians. (It's like a seminar thing, where people gather to "learn" more and catch up on continuing education, it'll be nice to see some faces from old employment sites that I haven't seen in awhile)

Sunday we are planning on staying at Argosy Casino's hotel. I hope to get a massage or pedicure out of this deal! lol. We got a certificate for a free room for J.R.'s birthday, sounds good to me!!

Other than that, no real big plans. I need to find my motivation so I can get this place cleaned up! Thank goodness it's not even 10 am yet.

2011-09-19T12:56:00.001-07:00

Life has so many ups and downs anymore. I think it is finally starting to fall into place for us. We are really working on a lot of different things, and life seems to be getting a little calmer.We received news of a fantastic opportunity housing wise. We were in contract to purchase a home as of a year ago. The house had a lot of potential, but we didn't know that it had a lot of problems (or how deep the problems went). Unfortunately, the house was to be condemned by the city. (Yeah, I don't even know where to start) The living room wall had moisture in the walls (presumably from the a/c unit) in which it started to mold and cave in. We found several openings, so I think it was much deeper than just the a/c unit. The floor in the bathroom caved in, causing the toilet and tub to sink. (Yes, how awesome right) We had problems with plumbing and pipes which were fixed (supposedly) under our contract with a company. The company also ripped out walls from bathroom to guest room and did nothing to put them in order. (Which we were told they would) We have since gotten out of the contract and had the city and an attorney involved. J.R.'s grandmother and uncle shared a house not too far from where we were living. His Uncle suffered many strokes and his grandmother had alzheimer's. Both were moved to a nursing home. The house was offered to us for free for now, (minus paying utilities/taxes/insurance) and in 4-5 years we would be allowed to purchase it. We love this house and the yard! It has a huge fenced in yard that the dogs absolutely love! This was a great opportunity for us to save us and purchase a house.That being said, We have so many projects that we are ready to tackle. The biggest fun has been decided to redo the kitchen. I have started a life binder. Many of the ladies that I chat/post with on the nest, have organizational binders. I have created my own, with awesome printables from other sites. The more we dealve into the binder, I will add sites and give credit to where I got all the items from. J.R. has been at his job now for 90 days and gets insurance this week, woohoo!I have PASSED my registry test, so I'm officially registered and have lovely letters behind my name at work :)That's about the exciting stuff that's going on in our worlds. I will start posting more with our projects and stuff going on, I hope.Happy Birthday today to JR!!!

Happy 2nd Anniversary to us!

2011-07-07T12:16:00.000-07:00

Our 2nd Anniversary was on the 4th. It's hard to believe it's already been 2 years since we were married. We've definitely had a lot of ups and downs and trials and tribulations as a married couple. Everything we've been through has made us stronger, though. I'm pretty lucky to have such a wonderful husband!

We spent most of the day lounging (I worked the night before, so I slept pretty late) and then went for supper in the Power & Light District at Gordon Biersch. We decided Skies was a little too expensive this year, so opted for cheaper. We ended up spending quite a bit, but not as much as we would have at Skies. It was a pretty nice place, they have a brewery in the restaurant where they make their own beer. We had sangria (oh the irony!) I'd definitely go back!

P&L wasn't too crowded either, actually, it was pretty quiet... which was nice, I figured it'd be crazy busy as a holiday, but I guess most people probably went out of town.

http://www.gordonbiersch.com

We came home afterwards and relaxed! Nothing huge... but it was a nice quiet anniversary!

Bittersweet

2011-06-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

Initially, I was super sad that Sadie became pregnant. I had planned on getting her fixed but thought she was too young. I let her out a couple times after she had broken her tie out and she got out of the fence multiple times.

She ended up having seven puppies (ie - past posts) and they are sooo freaking cute, but I definitely don't want that to happen again. I've got an appointment with the vet to take her in next week and hopefully we can get her fixed ASAP.

The puppies are about 5 weeks old now. She only lets them feed at night now, and it's become quite an event. She is starting to growl and snap at them. Makes me so sad. We feed them mush (puppy food and warm water), and gradually have been making it more dry every so many days. They drink water. I think they will be pretty ready to go to new homes soon.

One has already found a new home, which I am so happy about because they are cool dudes. Its just a little bittersweet to give up these beautiful babies. Unfortunately, I cannot keep 10 dogs and 2 cats. I'd love to, however, I don't think our wallets can afford it nor does my husband love that idea. I can't wait til they all get to their new homes and have wonderful families.

June has been a crazy month. New schedule at work went into place in May to make it so we're only open every other weekend. I finally was moved to the first half of the shift which means no weekends! Wooohoo! for less than a week, though. :( Then the new schedule was implemented, so not cool. I get it though, it was so the other shift doesn't have to work every Friday and Saturday. I hated it, so I totally get it. It still sucks, though.

We have had kind of a lull lately too due to marketing staffing issues. That's been fixed, and we have an awesome replacement, but we are just now getting the after effects of the previous' mistakes/faults...ie not even showing up to dr offices or actually doing any marketing. BLAH. Luckily, it's not been drastic to call us off multiple nights.

J is looking for a new job, and has a perfect prospect and has been offered a position pending background/drug check. I hope he starts soon, he seems so excited, and it will be nice for him to make more money and be happy! He seems so depressed working the other job. They aren't doing so well, and he has had some issues with things there, so on to better things!

Everything else is going as normal... nothing too exciting. We have some get togethers/reunions coming up soon, looking forward to that.

Can't wait to get back down to Houston again soon to see my favorite lil man! He is growing so much and isn't a baby anymore. Miss that little face of his. I guess I miss his parents a smidge too :-P

I need to get some new pics of the furbabies and puppies up soon!

Puppies Update

2011-05-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

Puppies are growing fast! They have their eyes and ears open. Starting to walk around and bark and play. They are so much fun!

Puppies!

2011-05-14T20:38:00.001-07:00

Sadie, our German Sheperd/Boxer mix had 7 puppies last night.

They are freaking adorable!

Craftyyyy!

2011-05-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

I totally slacked on blogging again, but it was mostly due to not having internet at home anymore. We got internet again this week, though. We were trying to cut down on monthly payments, which included cable and internet. Things are starting to go better and we have started to save more.

Recently, I've been in a real crafty mood. I love looking at ideas and figuring out how to tweak them to my personal liking. I just need a new sewing machine! I have been keeping my eye out, and have found a couple that I'm interested in.

My recent obsessions are wordles and owl related items. Help me! We aren't even pregnant yet, and I'm already planning a nursery in my head... how goofy.

Maybe crafting will keep my mind off of it.

I am on a new schedule at work, now working the first of the week with weekends off! Woohoo, but it's been an adjustment.

I don't really have a lot to write, but I am going to try to start writing several times a week again.

Weekend update

2010-12-10T22:52:00.000-08:00

For the last post, I received 50 free photo cards from Shutterfly! They turned out beautiful! I was able to address and write in them while working this week and most of them have been sent out as of this morning.

We bought a house! We signed the papers last Sunday, and have started working on it. There are several things that need changed or updated. So excited. We included a slideshow on here. Most of the pictures were taken with a cell phone, so they didn't turn out awesome. I need to take my camera over there and take more pics.

So far, we have painted and redone the living room. It looks nice, but it is super bright. I think we are going to change our decor a little.

Plumbing came out today, they are going to have to open walls and fix some pipes as there is bad pressure in the bathroom and kitchen. It goes out into the lines in the yard, galvanized. He said it would be Wednesday. Luckily, that was in our contract.

Heating also came out today, the house has a floor furnace. It stopped working yesterday and wouldn't kick on and stay on. We paid a co-pay, which is supposed to be reimbursed to us. It basically was dirty and needed cleaning out, now works fine. Mother in law and Step father in law replaced our thermostat in the house, last night. They have been a big help, especially SFIL. He has helped us paint, bug/bomb, move appliances, etc.

I tore off the wallpaper in the Master Bedroom while waiting for repair men to show. I am hoping to scrape it all down and clean good tomorrow. Hopefully, we will have it painted in the next few days.

We did go buy paint and supplies to paint front entry dining area and kitchen. It is a god awful lime green and brown right now, and that's gotta go! I chose a "apple" green which is more like a sage/celery mix. It is light/bright and airy looking, but will be more subtle than the current colors.

Hoping to also get the washer moved, (Dryer was replaced with a brand new gas dryer and already moved in) so I can at least go do laundry over there.

Front and back doors measured and ordered, waiting on those to come in.

Flooring guy is to come out this weekend or early next week.

We are going to start moving small things in after we paint and check out floors.

Whew! So much going on!

I worked earlier this week for a co-worker in exchange for her to work shifts at the end of the week. So I have seven days off, so excited to jump in and get things started on the house!

Customize a free slideshow

Ho Ho Hoooooof it on over to Shutterfly.com

2010-11-29T12:00:00.000-08:00

Christmas time is right around the corner! Getting out decorations, setting the tree up, baking yummy delicious items, spending time with friends and family, shopping!! those are all some of my favorite things about the holiday.

Are you ready for the holiday? What are you doing to get prepared? One of my favorite traditions (so to speak) is sending out holiday cards. I've done this for years, and some of my friends get just as excited about it as I do. I look forward to this part every year!

I'm usually pretty good at picking out unique cards. Sometimes I'll even buy them on clearance and save for the next year.

We moved this year a few times, so I have no idea where those cards that I got last year are at! Ugh! So I've been on the look out for some new ones. I think my favorites are ones with photos. I love to see how everyone looks and who's grown or changed the most over the year. Photo cards are the best! http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards

Grandmothers love the calendars! http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars

We plan on buying a house in the next few weeks, so we are hoping to host a holiday party if we are moved in and ready to go in time! Are you having a holiday party this year? Use Shutterfly's beautiful invitations! http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-invitations

As you know, we are TTC. I love these holiday family cards. One of my favorites is: http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/bright-blue-snowflake-christmas-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93496
I love the picture of this little girl, so cute! I can't wait to have our own babies to take a family photo and send out to all of our friends.

6 months later...

2010-11-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

I'm terrible at blogging, I've established this already! I can't believe it's been over 6 months since my last post. So much has changed since then!

Unfortunately, we no longer have Olivia. We rehomed her with a friend of mine. She wasn't fitting into our family well, like we hoped. She and Oliver weren't getting along, and she terrorized the cat. She also had aggression issues. We tried training, but it didn't go over well. I am happy to report, however, that she is adjusting well into her new home. She gets lots of exercise and is the only pet.

We have since adopted two other members into our household. Bennie is a black and white kitty that is about 4 months old now. Sadie is a boxer/shepard mix puppy that is 4 months old. They are fitting well into our family, and Sadie and Bennie are buddies. We adopted them about a month apart.

We are in the process of trying to purchase a home in Kansas City. It is not going as quickly as we hoped, but we are still working on it!

I have had a lot of health issues lately, but have been seeing a doctor to get everything under control. I have type 2 Diabetes, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, and high blood pressure. I went from being on no medications, to now having about 8 different pills that I take several times a day! Ugh! However, if it makes me feel better, I will not complain too much. I have been having some problems with ovarian cysts, which is not fun at all.

While working with the doctor, after many discussions, decisions, ideas... JR and I are actively TTC. We started our TTC journey officially in August. Right now, we are in the beginning stages and this is my first "coming out" announcement. I'm hoping with the medications to help health conditions will allow for us to make a family on our own. I'm currently on Metformin (for diabetes, as well as PCOS)and have looked into a few natural health options. We pray that we will be blessed in time.

Things are going really well for us right now. JR has been at Midas now almost a year, and likes working on cars. I am still a sleep technician, and will be at my job for a year in February. We are currently renting a house in Kansas City, KS. It is pretty small, but has a big back yard, and works for now. We are hoping to buy a house in the next few months.

We have had quite the journey over the last year, lots of huge changes... some good and some bad. We have become a stronger couple, and individually. I can't wait to see what else is in store for us.

Olivia

2010-06-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

We adopted Olivia, who is 3 years old about a month and a half ago. She is a black Golden Retriever/Poodle Mix. She's really smart, and a sweetheart most of the time. She does have some aggression issues, however. Anytime she gets ahold of something she isn't supposed to have and you tell her "No" - it doesn't go over so well. We are working with making her more submissive, instead of aggressive to the point where she will nip at me. She has never nipped at JR, but I believe it is because she favors males, and must have been abused by a female before.

She is 98% of the time a very sweet, obedient dog. The biting never breaks skin, but we are not going to allow that behavior. We knew this when we brought her into our home.

I never seem to blog anymore, but I should get better at that!

Loving babies

2010-04-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

I post regularly on thenest.com - there were a couple posts, and soon a lot of the forums were lit up with this topic.

A girl started a post about her unborn child being tested for illness/disabilities/etc. Basically, she said that if she knew her child would have Down's Syndrome, she would abort the baby. Made a lot of people upset. I won't get into the rest of it, but there was a story that was posted that really really hit me hard. I cried sooo hard, it was beautiful. In light of all the laws now being passed about abortion, I would just say - we never know what our decisions might truly be until we are faced in that situation. I just wish so many wouldn't turn to abortion and give those who cannot have children a chance to love a child that deserves parents who will love them unconditionally. We also never know what our reactions to things might be either. This story just tells about Nella's birth and how her Mom felt at the time. Nella has Down Syndrome. If you read, please prepare with several boxes of tissues!

http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html

Better.

2010-03-25T01:42:00.001-07:00

I read my last post, and I kinda felt sad.

I'm not really at that heart wrenching, hopeless stage anymore. It's not far away, though, so I'm not out of the woods, just yet. Things are getting better. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes.

I struggle with so many things, I always felt so helpless before, but now I realize, I can't really count on any one else to make those changes. Quit your bellyachin', get off of it and bust your booty, only you can make the changes that you need.

Tonight was a sudden realization for me. Epiphany, if you will. In the back of my head, I knew there was a problem, but it hit home tonight. The mood swings are out of control. The anxiety? Through the roof. I'm literally scared to death to be in a car. Before, it was only if I wasn't in driving, I didn't have the control I needed to feel at ease. It's completely to the point now, where it doesn't matter who is driving. It's ridiculous. I need to go see someone about this, for real. I kind of laughed and joked off such a huge serious accident I was in a year ago. Made light of it, I walked away unhurt, which is a miracle. A year later? I'm freaking afraid of being in a car and traffic. It's not nearly as bad as a highway or interstate. I try to avoid those now if possible. It's not as bad if the weather is clear, also.

I tried to just make light of the situation. There's no way that this could really affect me, I made it out, that was the important part. It literally puts my stomach in knots and I freak out. How truly sad, is that? Over the course of minor things, I totally freaked out in the car when NOTHING happened. It was raining, foggy, there was still visible. I saw brake lights ahead, no where even close... and I freaked out. I cannot control it, but I try to, which I think makes it worse. What do I do about this? Hire a driver with a vehicle with a partition that is tinted as well as the windows so I can't see? Never drive again? Ugh. Where do I start? Counseling?

Maybe I've let things go too far and think I can handle it all myself. Maybe I really do need help, not just for the whole car thing, but every aspect of my life.

Starting new jobs suck, because there's the long wait for insurance (aye aye aye lets not even go there...) once that kicks in, this would be better.

I let things consume me. I can't do that anymore.

Life is... changing.

2010-03-09T12:57:00.000-08:00

I don't know where to begin this blog. I rarely write anymore, usually it's just been a few pictures here and there. My usb cord for my camera isn't working, so no new pictures for awhile. Eventually, I'll either get a new camera or get a new cord. I saw a camera similar to mine but the newer version for a decent price last night. But, I am trying to hold on to extra monies until I get us out of the rut we are in. Moving and getting re-settled has drained everything. It's not the end of the World, and somehow we always manage to figure out a plan or make things work somehow. Just sucks most days.

I'm in a bit of a funk, that's why I decided to write. Writing usually helps.

My heart is heavy about so many things going on in my life, right now. I don't know what's the best thing to do about a lot of it. I am struggling with Faith. I am struggling with money. I am struggling with happiness. Where do I find the "good" in everything when it all seems so sour anymore? I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head, a gorgeous house, FINALLY a job, but there is still so much that is left out there that I want to grab onto. Over the last few years, I have felt that I learned valuable lessons. Sometimes, you have to go through these struggles to really grasp onto what life means. But, I am still left empty. Explain that one. Did I make the right choices? If I didn't and I want things to change - where do I start? Why do I ask so many questions? lol. Ugh, just seems like a never ending process.

Little Miss Layla Grace. There's just so many words that I can't even begin to type that express my emotions at the moment. I have this gut-wrenching, heart breaking, overall sadness consuming me at the moment. It's the same feelings I had when my Dad was sick. The same feeling I had when Bryson was diagnosed with Leukemia. I just hate that Cancer is so evil. It takes over lives and destroys so many things in it's path. Why? Layla was a beautiful little girl that was in a little red wagon in the halls of 9th floor at TCH. Our paths crossed. Maybe for a few moments, but how much impact that little girl has had on my path is crazy. We've met so many families and little ones through Bryson's illness that are some of the most REAL, strong, faith-filled people I've ever met. To see how many lives Bryson has touched, too, is all too surreal. These children often do not even SPEAK to each other, but they have this bond that is unbreakable. Just looking into their eyes and seeing their little faces - especially the little ones that haven't even learned to talk yet - Just incredible.

My heart aches for the Marsh family. I hope that God provides the strength, faith, peace, and comfort that they need right now and for the rest of their lives.

When my father was sick, I hated hearing the "I'm sorry"s and the "if you need anything"s. No one really understands what exactly another goes through. I can say what I feel, and I can say how it affected me, but I just really can't even imagine.

I just have to remind myself that there is a lesson, yet again, in this for me. Stop taking things for granted. Be happy with what you have. Is it enough?

Layla Grace

2010-02-23T14:36:00.001-08:00

This beautiful little girl, is named Layla Grace. She is battling Stage 4 Neuroblastoma. I met her and her family at Texas Children's Hospital while visiting my nephew, Bryson in the hospital. Bryson has Leukemia. Layla and Bryson met and become friends while on the 9th floor together. Layla needs a miracle. Her family and her need all of our prayers and love. Please take a minute to visit her website, laylagrace.org where you can read more about her. These children suffer from terrible diseases, and someday we will find a cure!

moved in!

2010-02-12T01:25:00.000-08:00

We are officially all moved into our new house with furniture and all. What a long couple months of barely scraping by and sleeping on floors and air mattress. It was an adventure, however.

I started last week at a new sleep lab as a sleep technician again. So far, I really like the company and lab. Much different than I am used to, but that's definitely a good thing! Jr decided to stay on full time at Midas.

My classes this semester were more demanding and extensive. I'm making it through, was harder juggling with moving, work, and all. Two weeks then I start another block.

My mom is all moved up here. Seemed pretty hard for her, but none of us wanted to leave Bryson. I'm worried about him but he is doing good.

I will have more pics to post later.

Our New House!

2010-01-29T14:45:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox collage

You can't wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. ~Pat Schroeder

2010-01-05T12:13:00.000-08:00

You can't wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. ~Pat Schroeder

How true is that statement? If someone told me, I'd be spending my new year worrying all the time or feeling sorry for myself, I would have thought they were kidding. Things are not going according to plan. I was probably silly to think that it would. The good news is - Life has a funny funny way of letting you know who is really in control. As a couple of my friends have said, you gotta go through the speedbumps to appreciate the smoother roads. I've spent entirely too much time worrying and crying, and being upset about things. Especially, when it's things that I really don't have a lot of control over. I just have to learn to do my best, take it in stride, and move on.

I'm tired of the struggle. I'm tired of feeling like life crashes every chance it gets. When is a little good going to come our way? Have I totally missed the good moments? Do I fail to see them? I think so. I just get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect, that a little disappointment is always bound to come our way, and I have to accept it and learn from those disappointments. Which is hard to do! Maybe I need a little help with that part of my life? I'm just really ready for things to turn around and go a little better. It's getting there slowly, and I must have patience.

On to better things... I did spend a pretty cool New Year's Eve with some of my closest friends. We had a lot of fun, and many good laughs.

Here's to hoping a better year!

Christmas and the festivities

2009-12-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

J.R. and I have been back in Kansas for a few weeks, now. It definitely feels comfortable for the most part, but we really miss being in our own place. We are fortunate enough for J.R.'s Father and Stepmother to allow us to stay with them over the holidays and while we are in town to find jobs and a house.

We found a wonderful house! I am so excited about it. It's beautiful inside, and has so much space. A huge backyard for Ollie, and lots of huge window sills for Sushi to lay in and sunbathe. A nice patio to entertain when the weather is nice.

J.R. will start his new job on Monday. He will be working for Midas as a general auto service technician. He is pretty excited, Midas seems like a great company to work for. I still have a few interviews, and the job that I left to move to Texas is offerring a position back with them.

At first, things weren't going so great. We were starting to get worried if anything was going to happen, but things are slowly falling into place, now.

It just feels so good to be back in our comfort zone. I definitely didn't miss the snow and ice, but thanks to the Blizzard of '09 - ha! It wasn't all that bad. We had a snowball fight with the family on Christmas Eve. So much snow, and it was so much fun!

Christmas was nice. I was pretty depressed about everything going on, and the holidays are a reminder of what used to be. It's hard to adjust to a life without my family. I have my Mom, and my brother, Tim - but we were away from them this year. It just really sucks that since my Dad died, the whole family has fallen apart. It makes me sad, but there isn't a lot I can do to change it. J.R. has a wonderful family, and I think I've taken them for granted.

They always go out of their way to make me feel welcome, and I really do appreciate that.
The biggest event this year, was J.R.'s sister, Alicyn and her husband, Jeremy had a son in April. Henry. He is an adorable little guy! We loved spending time with him and can't wait to do more in the future. Sure makes me miss Bryson a lot, but will get to see him soon!

I didn't go to J.R.'s Mom's side of the family get together, it was pretty bad out weather wise, and thanks to the accident in Oklahoma and "side effects" from that, when there are visibility issues - I have so much anxiety. I just prefer to avoid it alltogether. The best part of being back in Kansas City is that I don't have to deal with traffic like Houston's! I know where I'm going, I don't really need the Garmin, and I don't have to worry about bumper to bumper - rushing to get ahead - close calls every time I get in my car. I love it here!

I got to spend a day of shopping and Sephora madness with my BFF's! Oh, how I missed them! They are two wonderful ladies, and I am glad to call them my friends.

Well, It's Official...

2009-12-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

J.R. and I have decided to move back to Kansas. We are leaving next week to stay at his Dad and StepMom's house for a few weeks. We are going to check out some houses and hopefully find a great one! We are also applying for jobs already, but will be able to interview for the positions while in town. We will then move the rest of the house at a later date. I cannot really express how emotional this decision has been. I have honestly contemplated every angle of this decision possible, but feel that we have to make the best decision for our own little family. Texas is beautiful, but it just isn't home. I miss that familiar feeling, I miss friends and family. While, we've created a life here for us, it just isn't the same. We gave it a go, and things just didn't work out. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. I was laid-off, but it isn't the end of the world. Some days, it sure felt like it! What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right?!

I'm so excited about Christmas. It snowed today in Houston, too. That just makes the spirit even more present. We decorated a couple nights ago, but haven't really got everything up. I didn't want to put up all the lights, if we aren't going to be here in the next few weeks.

I'm excited about finding the perfect house. I'm excited about it being OURS. I've never felt totally comfortable here, and it has nothing to do with anyone else living here. I think it was because it was all just unfamiliar. It never felt like home. I can't imagine ever going back to apartment living, and I really hope that we don't have to, but I know that things might be a little crappier before they truly get better upon the move.

My first semester college round two is almost over. So far, I have an A in one class and B in the other. I kinda felt that they were both dumb classes, but I've actually learned a lot from them both. I am excited that the semester is pretty much over, though! I just wonder how long of a break we'll actually get. It's definitely easier when working nights. Working days and trying to juggle school at the same time, pretty much sucks! It sounds so dumb, but it feels like there are more hours to do stuff when you work nights and get more time off to get things done.

I hope this week flies by, and we're back in Kansas before we know it. I should go ahead and start packing now, as I'm a huge procrastinator. :)

Thyroid conditions, lay offs, doctor appointments, the holidays...

2009-11-25T14:40:00.000-08:00

What a wild last few weeks it's been. Lots happening around here.

Unfortunately, the company I was working for decided to close all the labs and offices in the south Texas region. Therefore, a layoff was implemented, in which I was included. I guess I should have seen it coming with all the financial issues we were having, and going weeks without paychecks. I was promoted two weeks prior to this layoff/closing, to a DME specialist. To help sort things out in the Sugar Land office and get it back on it's feet. I got the OK to order masks and start bringing in patients to set them up with their cpap masks and machines. I don't understand it all, to be honest. The idea of closing could not have been a split second decision. If it wasn't - then why did they decide to let me order masks or talk about laundry billing, etc. I wouldn't have gone to all that trouble for nothing. I was crushed. I was pissed. Now, it just sorta seems to be a blessing in disguise.

Texas is not home. We moved here to help out with Bryson, and be close to my family. Big jobs with big pay and a new house... all that just doesn't seem worth it when you're not happy. I love my nephew to pieces and I would do anything for that kid. But - I think the best decision for J.R. and I is to move back to Kansas. We can still come visit and be here for Bryson. We don't have many friends here and I miss my friends from home so badly... I miss being able to hang out with them and to call them up and really be there for each other. We don't really do anything, traffic is so bad that I can't really even go outside our little area without major anxiety (Thanks to the 7 car fire pile up in Oklahoma in March 09)... Its just not all worth it anymore. It makes me sad that we have to leave and give up, but I know being back in Kansas is where we're supposed to be. That's where we're both happy. I miss my friends, I miss my old life and the comforts I had there. I don't know how it's going to go just yet, but we'll figure it out.

I have been having a few health issues lately. Extreme case of anxiety when driving on certain interstates and roads. I have a huge fear of replaying the accident in Oklahoma. That was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me and I don't want to go through it again. The traffic here is tolerable to certain areas of Houston. But when it comes to I-45 or to rush hour - I freak out. It's literally bumper to bumper most times, and no real time to react if accidents happen. People here are idiots when it comes to driving. Me first mentality and I hate it! I see a bunch of cars stopped and I get scared. I was never like that in Kansas City. I noticed I'm a little more cautious after the accident... but seriously, after being stuck in a fire, with no vehicle, and left stranded on the interstate while no one really cares about your safety, I can't bear the thought of going through that again.

I lose my cool too much anymore. I get dizzy and lightheaded easily. Easily irritated. Frequent headaches. Frequent muscle pain. I can't sleep well anymore. I've gained weight, no energy, I even have tried watching foods, changing habits, exercising and nothing changes. Could I do more? Sure! But, I don't know. Someday I want a family - there are things in the way of that at the moment. Basically every symptom on a checklist - I have. I went to the doctor Monday, and she had blood draws and UA set up to test me for a few things, mainly hypothyroidism. That would explain a lot. She seemed pretty sure, but wanted to test to be positive. After that, I'll go in next week for another appointment to discuss results and come up with a plan. I hope that we can figure out something... I need changes... major changes in my life.

I am excited for the holidays, and going back up home. Mom planned a huge Thanksgiving lunch with Stephanie, Tim, Bryson, my biological father Kenton, and us. We made several pies, cornbread, and other things today and will finish the rest tomorrow.
Christmas is just around the corner, and I am so excited to decorate and get ready!

Lifestyle Changes

2009-11-13T10:51:00.000-08:00

I made a decision to really make a big effort to try to lose weight. Sure, I've said it before... but I really need to do something now. It's getting ridiculous. I see pictures of when I was in high school or even in my early 20's - and to think that I thought I was huge then - I'd kill to be that size again! I guess after you get married, you sort of live fat and happy as the saying goes. I don't really have to impress anyone anymore, so I just do whatever. Which is sad! I should want to look good for my husband, too! I've just gotten so used to a life of convenience, I guess. Ever since we've moved to Texas, I've at least made the committment to cook more, so we would stop eating out as much. I also switched my work schedule to days now, since I accepted a new position. That seems to keep me pretty busy so I'm not bored. I eat when I get bored. It's the cure for everything. An emotional eater.

I hardly have time to sit and have dinner when I get home from work, do homework, and still try to get at least 6 hours of sleep before getting up and doing it all over. School work is suffering. I always manage to get it done before the due date, but it never gets the full attention that it did when I was working nights. I hope that doesn't last forever. Hopefully, the more I get used to the position - the easier this will become to adjust to a whole new lifestyle.

This week has been a stepping stone to greatness. (Or something like that anyway) I eat a light breakfast. I don't snack. Occassionally, if I'm really hungry - I might get a cheese stick or a 90 calorie pack. I eat lunch - usually something low fat. A lean cuisine meal, or a turkey sandwich. I cut out a lot of the soda and trying to drink mostly water. I bought "baby" cans of diet coke this week. They are 8oz cans, so that I get a little caffiene, but not a 2 liter of soda. I don't need that! We try to eat a sensible meal. Usually with more vegetables and less meat. We've cut back to turkey products, a little chicken, or 93% lean beef. I really need to incorporate more fish. J.R. isn't a big fan of seafood - so that makes it a little more difficult. I've been really good at finding recipes and making him try new things, haha.

The next big step that I need to make is to exercise more. Take the dog for a walk. He needs it, too. I am just so tired all the time now. I'll work on that!

I am really happy, I love that I'm not as hungry as I was. Staying busy makes a huge difference. We always celebrated with food when I was a kid. Birthdays, special events, congratulations, family gatherings, etc. Always revolved around food. I've got to make a committment and really stick to it.

It's November!

2009-11-08T20:48:00.001-08:00

It's finally November. It's starting to cool down a little here. Not near what it's like back in Kansas, though. I am getting pretty excited about Christmas just around the corner. We're not going to make a trip up to Kansas for Thanksgiving. We have decided we'll just wait til Christmas, and spend some extra time up there. I'm thinking of ideas for gifts, and I've come up with a few cool ones. We'll see. I can't believe how many people I've heard say that they are already have most of their shopping done! I'm a last minute gift giver, I suppose. I should be doing this all year round! J.R. and I decided that we're going to make it a tradition every year, to go get our pictures taken for our Christmas cards. We could just use wedding pictures, but this will be more fun, haha. Grammie is back from Missouri, so Bryson came over to visit Saturday. We had a lot of fun with some new toys. I'm going to try to post a video below. He's doing well, he is crawling all over the place now! It's only a matter of time, before he walks. He jabbers like crazy, too! I am so thankful that he is doing well. This kid loves Yo Gabba Gabba. It's kind of a weird cartoon, but sometimes hilarious. I enjoy watching it even when Bryson isn't here. HA.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2009-10-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

I always thought it'd get easier with time. It never does. It just seems to fade away a little bit. It still feels like it's happening today. The pain and heartache never really go away, I just somehow push it aside. I have to, to be able to live my life. Sometimes, I feel guilty for doing that. I haven't forgotten. I never will. I rather hurt, than feeling nothing at all.

It hits at the weirdest moments. Things I'd never expect remind me of you. Truth be told, I never thought it'd affect me as much as it does. I still feel anger. I still feel hurt. I still feel regret and guilt. Will that ever go away?

I wish you were here. I wish you could see how much things have changed since you left us. Would you be happy to see all the changes I've made in my life? You'd laugh at Bryson. I know you'd be proud of him. He's amazing and teaches us so much in life. I wish he had the chance to know you. I wish you would have been there to walk me down the aisle like we planned. It made me so sad that you weren't there. I wish that you could see Ollie. I know you'd have fun playing with him, too. I would give anything to hear you call the cat a "zero and to get out of your way". You always said you hated that cat, but you didn't really. I wish you were here so Mom wouldn't be lonely. I hate seeing her in pain. She puts on a good front, though. Tries to pretend that she's really happy... but I know she isn't. I pushed her into moving to Texas so that she could focus on helping with Bryson. She needs to know that it's OK to be happy. We made the decision to come, too... so it'd be easier. But it hasn't been. I wouldn't say it's the worst decision we've ever made... but I don't know if it was the right decision.

I often wonder what advice you'd give me now. Would you really be proud of me now? Some days, I feel on top of the world. Little things happen, knock me down. I guess you have to fall on your face a few times, before you can really stand tall. I found a better job, although it's had its moments. I am going back to school. I bet you never thought that'd happen. Sometimes I'm not always happy with my life. I made a lot of stupid decisions in the past, but I try to strive as hard as I can to make it what I want now. You taught me that. I just wish you were here to see the person I am now.

Have you heard that song, "Only you can love me this way" by Keith Urban? You'd like it. It makes me think of you.

I talk about you a lot, it helps me. I never know when people might get sick of it, and tell me to stop. I've been doing it less and less lately.

We've become pro-active in helping with Cancer and Leukemia research. I feel that it isn't ever really enough, though. I wish you would have fought harder. Sometimes, I think you gave up way too easy. I wish I knew what all was going through your mind at the time? Why you chose certain options? Why you chose this or that? I'll never know those answers.

I wish you were here.

Battleship USS Texas!

2009-10-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, since J.R.'s parents and brother were down to visit, we decided to take a little drive down to La Porte, Texas. Home of Battleship USS Texas and Monument. J.R. and his Dad were both in the Navy, and David is a history buff so this was a good idea! It was kind of cool to see all of it. Pat and I stayed behind and let the boys go on the ship. It was a beautiful day out!

The monument was huge! Surrounding it - is prairie grass! They had signs stating that they let the grass grow tall to preserve a natural state like the old days.

Just a few feet ahead, there was another sign that said to "watch out for wildlife" then we see this guy. Is that what they meant by wildlife? LOL.

J.R. and his Dad were being silly. Here is Navy Seaman J.R. and Captain Al!

Afterwards, we were kinda thirsty and put SONIC in the Garmin. It made us take the Ferry across. Which was a pretty cool experience if you've never had to do that before! The GPS was making us laugh since it showed us directly on the water.

Pat, Al, and David come to visit.

2009-10-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

J.R.'s Dad - Al and his wife, Pat, and J.R.'s brother - David came to visit us from Lenexa, Kansas. They came in on Friday and stayed until Monday morning. We were very happy to see them! We did a lot of sight seeing. On Saturday, we went to Galveston for Oktoberfest. We weren't all that impressed, though. It ended up just being a few booths with arts and crafts, German food, Beer, and a polka band. Not a lot to the whole thing either. To the left, you'll see the German outfitted dancers, haha... and David wasn't really thrilled either.

We stopped by the beach in Galveston, walked on the beach and gathered shells, played in the sand, drove around a bit, stopped in Kemah. We ate at Landry's (Kami's favorite) right by the ocean in Galveston.

We wrote our names in the sand, and did all that goofy romantic stuff. I saw a dead crab, and picked up some cool shells. J.R. wasn't all into that, but I was! A lot of the beach and area around it, is still picking up after Hurricane IKE. We saw a truck that was on (what was left of it anyway) a pier. I wonder where it came from, how exactly it got there, and if people just gave up looking for it?

Before/After Living room

2009-10-18T21:56:00.000-07:00

I fixed the curtains. I went and bought some new sheers, to replace the cream/beige curtains that were in the living room.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

I kept the burnt orange/rust sheer behind, replaced the outside curtains and drape swag.

Notice Sushi behind the new curtains. "You can't see me!"

Redecorating... Part 1.

2009-10-16T22:48:00.000-07:00

I bought my old sofa prior to moving into a new apartment in like 2007. It sits really low and is hard to get out of sometimes, so we decided to get a new sofa when we moved into our new house in Texas.

Old Sofa - Don't mind all the boxes and stuff everywhere. This was when we first were moving in.

After searching for quite awhile, I finally found a sofa that I really liked at a furniture store in Clear Lake. It was a completely different color and scheme but it was a good price and what I was looking for.

We ended up moving the older sofa into the master bedroom because we had room for it, and wanted sort of a sitting area near the tv in there. Might try selling it later. I felt like the rug really didn't match the color of the sofa, too much black. I was going for kind of a black and white theme with subtle cream and what not tied in when we lived in our apartment in Kansas.

We were talking about colors, and thought maybe a rust orange and other browns would fit well with this sofa. The wall is a weird tan/brown color. We found some pillows that were pretty.

Also bought a new rug to match a little better. I realize that the coffee tables don't match well - but that's another shopping trip. We're looking for an espresso colored leather ottoman. Maybe one that you can flip the top to be trays. I haven't really found one that I like yet. There was one at Target but it sits lower and was too small. This project has been ongoing... eventually we'll get there.

I also bought a new bedset at Anna's Linens. (Where I also got the smaller solid colored pillows. Got the bigger one at Big Lots). I am working on the bedroom. We finished the dining room... but those will have to be posts for later. Since, I got the new bedset and they were running a deal for light blocking curtains at Anna's - I bought chocolate colored curtains for the Master bedroom. The curtains I had in there were also light blocking curtains, that I am positive - must be defective. They don't block anything! I work overnights, so I sleep during the day. These curtains left the room bright. The new ones I got from Anna's Linens were about half the price of one panel that I got at Wal-Mart. They make the room almost pitch black. I love it! Anyway, so I thought since we're going for a browns/oranges type theme, that the older ones might work in the living room. Especially, since there were only mini blinds there. So I hung those up. Bought a double rod set and rust colored sheers to go behind with a dark brown swag. The cream is too bright. It just doesn't go. Also, we think it makes the living room too dark. I like sunshine in the common areas when I'm awake! So, here are the curtains... I know the swag looks a little weird - I am going to take it back and see if they have a longer one. I thought this would work, but it's too short.

I need some help with the curtains! I will move a set of the cream ones into the guestroom. Probably will purchase new ones. Was thinking maybe a blue (like the blue in the rug) or chocolate brown sheers. What do you think? Keep the rust sheers behind a maybe the blue or chocolate? And should I keep the swag, or leave it off?

Redecorating, trips, and the like.

2009-10-16T01:31:00.000-07:00

I forget to blog sometimes. I think about it, then I go to do it, get sidetracked and completely forget. I apologize.

Not a lot new here, things are working out better this time around. I finally received a paycheck from my employer. I am still filing a case against them, but I still have a job. So - that part is good, I suppose. I've committed to covering Thursdays and Fridays at the hospital. I will eventually add another day in there but I am not sure about the hospital or at another lab.

J.R. has been working really long hours, and hasn't been real happy with his job. He applied at a few places, and wants to work at a dealership again. He received a call back and had an interview at a Nissan dealership in Stafford. He was told he would be hired, they are just waiting on results for background, drug test, etc. It will be a pay-cut, but he will be working 40 hours. With the job he is at presently - he was "there"60 hours a week and only getting paid flag hours - so barely hitting 32 hrs sometimes. So this will work out a little better, we hope. Only time will tell.

My classes are going well. I was kind of worried about my contemporary business communication class. I guess I thought it might be boring. So far - I LOVE it. This is mostly set up online, so I can log on when it's convenient for me. I've written a couple papers for this class, and received a "Substantive" stamp on both of the assignments. Which makes me feel awesome! It means I have found something I can excel in, while I know that might sound kinda silly to others - it's just weird to me that something I thought I'd have no real interest in, just happens to go well.

It's been super rainy here lately. Our backyard is definitely looking awful. It's so wet, so it's muddy and sloshy in spots where it downpours off the hot tub hut and the shed. It has ruined the grass and the ants are worse than ever. I am not sure what we are going to do about it. We've come up with a couple plans. The biggest one that everyone has voted on so far, was to put cement blocks like a walkway around the little hut. That way - the rain hits off something else other than the same spot all the time. I am not sure if it'll work, so we're looking at all options.

Bryson goes back to the hospital for a little stay coming up soon. He has made so much progress with the physical therapy, that we hope this round of chemo won't take that away from him. He has worked so hard! He received his ankle braces this week, finally. He was able to stand with a little help for the first time! We are really excited that with some more work, he'll be able to bear weight on his hips and ankles so that he'll crawl or walk. Poor little guy has been through so much, but he is quite the trooper. He sure knows how to make his Aunt's heart melt.

J.R.'s Dad - Al, Stepmom - Pat, and brother - David are coming to visit us next weekend. We are really excited about that. They will be our first houseguests since moving down here. Well, Aunt Marsha helped us move and she stayed a couple nights, but since then we haven't had anyone. We've got a couple little trips planned. Hopefully to NASA at Al's request, and to Kemah Boardwalk and Galveston. Not sure what else.

We are planning on coming up for the holidays, just have to work all the details out. We sure do miss home, but getting acquainted with a new life in Texas. I've been decorating a lot. We got some new things for the living room. New rug, new pillows, put up curtains, etc. Since we bought a new sofa, the decor didn't match the new as well as it did the old. So I had to buy new things to match! haha. It's a lot of fun to be able to do that.

Well that's pretty much all that's going on here... til next time.

No new pics to post

2009-09-29T15:13:00.001-07:00

I decided to write a blog without any pictures! Ah! I know, right?

Things are going... well they are going. I've been at my job for a month now. I really enjoy working at the hospital. It's very laid-back. I pretty much have a whole floor to myself. I am not micro-managed. But however, I have not received a paycheck. They are "staggering payroll due to low collections". I filed a report with the Texas Workforce Commission. I am not sure how much longer I will be with this company if this keeps up. I have started to look for something else. I am very sad about the thought of having to change jobs. But, I've got bills to pay. I can't work for free.

That being said... Baylor College of Medicine called me! I had an interview with them on Monday. I was told they'd call me. I don't know - I haven't had anyone say that in awhile - so I think it might possibly mean it's a no go. We shall see.

I start college (again) in October. I am super excited about that. I waited too long. But life is finally at a point where I can actually go and be worth a squat. Each class is 8 weeks long. Most of it will be online, due to my profession. I am taking a lot of general education courses to get out the way first.

J.R. is testing out for his job, he wants to get that done asap so he can get a raise. He did pass his State Inspection License test.

I have been having trouble getting my car registered here. It's been a mess! I didn't get it registered in Kansas before leaving, I keep getting the run around from everyone I call. A lady at a local license office today was a rip. She said that I would have to get a title from Kansas to do anything here, I told her I didn't have one, and they sent me to her. She said, normally when people move they have a title from another state or have registered it in the other state. (Slam #1). I said, well I didn't - I have all the papers from the dealership, I just want to be able to register it here, so what would be my next step. She got mad at me and said well I'm not from Kansas so I don't know. So I said - any person that is from out of state comes to you, what would you suggest? She yelled at me saying You're not from Texas, I don't know. I told her that I keep getting the run around from everyone, no one can tell me the answer - is there anyone I can speak to that might know? I have tried talking to Ks dept of rev, I talked to the local license office, filed for a transfer of title, and was sent to this office. She said Right, uh huh ok with an attitude so I hung up! What is with these people and why can't anyone seem to help me?
I called the finance company that I finance the car through, and she said that since the car has a lien on it, The state of KS won't release a title to me. My sales papers should work. The only thing she knew to do was to pay off the car now or come back to KS to register it. Seriously?!?

Ugh.
So who knows what's going to happen in the next few weeks. I am so frustrated.

Bryson

2009-08-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

Bryson comes over to visit about twice a week, sometimes more. We love being so close, that it is finally possible. He is so much fun! He is doing pretty good right now. He is still going in for clinic to get his counts checked and make sure he doesn't need platelets or blood transfusions. Right now, he is finally at a point where there will be 7 weeks between next hospital stay. Hooray!!!

One Month Later

2009-08-07T10:47:00.001-07:00

It's been about a month since I've updated. I wrote a blog, it sounded dumb, so here's another go at it.

We're finally in Houston, and getting settled. What a long trip that was! We had to make a couple trips in order to get everything down here, and also had to go up because my Mom had an auction and sold her house to move to Houston, too. U-Hauls are quite entertaining, no matter what way you look at it. I was totally not looking forward to a long drive in a big truck with a crazy driver... but I survived and actually had fun? Whaaaaat?

We're very excited to be in our first home together. It is so much fun being able to decorate (with no limits) and have special projects. We've got a list ready, and so far only tackled a couple. This week, we worked on the master bathroom. We had to have a plumber come fix the faucets. It was done incorrectly and put on backwards. It is sooo nice to be able to take a shower now without it being super cold or really, really hot.

The next project was to get the hot tub going. That's been a lot of fun, and luckily we've had some experience with helping get pools ready... so we knew kinda what to do. We achieved the perfect levels, how awesome is that? (For first timers, anyway...)

Ollie is now 7 months old... he is getting HUGE. He is outgrowing his kennel, so we've been working on training slowly so we can let him out and eventually lose the kennel (hoping). We had to leave him at a dog boarding kennel during the second visit back to Kansas/Missouri. We weren't very happy, but felt it would be better for him than to make him endure another long road trip, plus we really didn't have room. We found a pretty good place out in Pasadena, with a little old lady that looks/acts just like the grandma with Tweety Bird. Haha. She was great with him, and loved him. So we feel confident if we ever have to do that again, we've got a place we can trust.

Sushi is adjusting well. He has lots of windows to look out and sunbathe in. He still has some anxiety whenever we're gone, and is quite vocal.

We are all loving the new house and are adjusting to a new life. Can't wait to see what else is in store.

Houston here we come!

2009-07-07T12:01:00.000-07:00

Planning and packing... ugh I'm exhausted.

We are packing up the house all week, and will be moving the majority of things this weekend. We are so excited about starting our new life! A little apprehensive about adjusting to a new city, but I truly believe we will thrive well there. I am going to post a few pictures of the house that were taken prior the move. Will post more once we move in! Got the utilities set up today, and we should be in by the weekend.

We're finally married!

2009-07-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

We got married Saturday - July 4th. It was absolutely beautiful! We had such an awesome day, and have some of the best friends and family a couple could ask for. A few things I would have changed, such as spending so much time taking pics, and not enough time with our guests - and the food! We should have made it MORE clear that it was ok to go ahead and eat. But, I think the pictures will be amazing, and I can't change that now. lol.

We were so afraid that it was going to rain, but it did just early in the morning, and it was a bit cloudy, but the rest of the day - the weather was beautiful.

The ceremony was sweet, the songs seemed to last entirely too long, but they were memorable pieces of our relationship. It was nice to see our family and friends. A lot of my family and friends didn't come. Which kinda makes you sad, but I am glad that we had a smaller group of people. Just hopefully, none were too offended about the food and what not.

Assumptions, Speculations = Stress

2009-06-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

I am the definition of Stressed right now. I am really tired of people speculating or assuming they know what's going on in my life. If you don't know - ask. It's really that simple. Don't make assumptions or speculations, they are usually wrong. I finally had a night to sleep some and catch up, then I find out I was expected to be somewhere - no one told me. How am I supposed to know if no one says anything? Sigh.

I am ready for this stress stuff to be over with! I know it's only going to get worse now until the wedding is over and move is complete.

Lots of big plans this weekend, this is my last weekend off before the wedding. Tomorrow, I have to go up to Bethany and Princeton. Got a few errands up there to run. Then coming back to paint and clean. My bridal shower luncheon is on Saturday. Father's Day with J.R.'s Dad on Sunday and the family. J.R. has a doctor appt, we have another session of premarital counseling on Monday... Whew! Not to mention, that I have some more things to get taken care of as far as ordering flowers and getting some other things for the wedding.

I still need to get boxes and get to packing. Should make a run to Salvation Army this weekend sometime to drop off all the donation stuff I will be giving. A lot of things we have to get rid of probably wouldn't be worth trying to sell, not enough time....

We shall see how it all goes.

I forgot to mention...

2009-06-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

So lately, I have been super emotional about basically EVERYTHING.

It really doesn't matter if it's good or bad, happy or sad... I cry. It's ridiculous. I don't know where this is all coming from, sometimes I wonder if I just need a really good cry and then it'll all be ok!

We saw a band in concert over the weekend, after the Royals game. MercyMe. I've seen them several times since I was a teenager. They are a very awesome Christian band. I don't know what it is about when someone speaks, especially if you aren't expecting it - all they have to mention is a specific word or something along the same lines of things you are going through... and BAM here come the tears. What's up with that?!

One specific part of the concert, the lead singer started to speak about how he lost his father to cancer. It's easy to get caught up in the moments, get caught up in life - when it's EASY. How true is that?! It's when it's hard - that's when you have trouble. You forget to be thankful, you forget to remember the good, you only focus on the bad... and I cannot tell you how many times, I've totally been guilty of just that!

I've fallen way hard away from my faith. It's a very surreal experience when you feel something (especially, when you are not sure what that something is.) I've been forgetting about all the good in my life. I've been crying, asking why, and feeling awful. I never understood, and probably never will understand why my family has been through so much and still continues to go through a lot. I've said this before, and I'll say it again... that saying - Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger... whoever thought that up must have had that epiphany while going through a lot of crap. I can't say that makes me feel better... but what I can say is... I think I'm starting to find the path that I fell away from. I am not going to preach on to someone else... if you wanna hear it, I'll tell you about it. I hope everything falls into place for everyone. I am not shy about this, I am not shunning anyone away from God... I want to be respectful of all feelings- but this weekend really spoke to me.

I've spent far too much time away. Isn't it crazy how the one person you never thought would REALLY complete you... ends up being the one you may have underestimated. He is the most amazing person in my life. He loves me unconditionally, he strives to be a better man for me, he's shown me more compassion than any other person I've come into contact with in all my life, he's lead me to where I belong. He led me back to faith, back to God...I can't wait to be his wife.
We fight, we bicker, we annoy each other... but really, I made the best decision I ever could have when I answered yes when he asked me to marry him.

Got a lot accomplished today

2009-06-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

Today was busy!
I woke up and got ready for the day. J.R. is normally off on Mondays - but due to his back hurting, he called in last week. He decided to make up some hours today. He came home around noon, though. We had lots of things to do today!
Kim and Mary came over at 12:30pm. Kim bought my kitchen table/island set for her new apartment. We decided we wanted to get a new set when we move to Texas. Also debating about getting rid of the sofa that we have. Got it all loaded into Mary's wagon (hehe) and our cars (to carry the chairs) and headed over to Kim's to deliver the goods.
We then went out for a late lunch at Chili's - all together. Had some very good food.
Then rushed over to Panera Bread on 119th to meet with the photographer to make a payment by 445pm. Did a little shopping at Old Navy's men's half off sale. J.R. needed some new shorts and shirts. Then we ran over to Men's wearhouse, got J.R.'s Tuxedo for the wedding. I was pretty impressed that we got everything the exact colors I was hoping for. It wasn't too bad in price either, so was happy with that. Check that one off the list, finally. We ran some other little errands. Went over to J.R.'s Dad's to see if they needed any help - although we were later in the evening, didn't get anything done really other than talking. Maybe next time?! Have plans for things later this week and weekend. My bridal shower is on Saturday. I am pretty excited about that, although, a little nervous. Haven't seen the family in awhile and a lot of my side aren't able to come.
Been getting songs for the mp3 player for the wedding, and J.R. is asleep in the recliner... snoozing away. I am about to call it a day as well. I work the next two days and then off for the weekend, hooray! We have just a little over two weeks before our wedding.

Can't believe it's so soon. We have been running ourselves ragged! Sometimes I forget what day it is. Pretty crazy, but have been busy and gotta get everything done. Haven't even started packing, yikes!

When I was cleaning off the table last night, didn't realize how much stuff accumulated on top of it... got in the cleaning mood. Even J.R. helped! He cleaned the living room, looks so nice - while I cleaned the dining room and kitchen. I have been clearing through stuff, I don't even really think I'll hassle with a lot of it. Bigger items to sell - but the rest is going to Goodwill.

I think I have the perfect song for me to walk down the aisle to, which I am super excited about... it's one of my favorite songs from a movie :-) I still have several ideas, I am not 100% sold on it, though. So who knows...

I ramble too much.... I really should get to bed.

Weekend

2009-06-13T06:14:00.000-07:00

Bryson went for his regular chemo session and lumbar puncture tests this week. He was admitted to the ER today for a fever. Later, moved to ICU due to fever and dropping blood pressure. Sure do worry about the little guy. Hasn't felt good this week. Hope he gets better. Contemplating a trip down soon. I did, however, give my final notice to work today. My last working day will be the 7th/8th of July. We need to start packing up the house, get boxes, etc. I hope we can get it done in time. We are supposed to get possession of the house by the 6th. So thinking of moving the 2nd weekend of July. I am anxious, also nervous... but relieved for a new chapter in our lives. We both plan on working the same type of jobs, both have leads, so its looking good for us. We are excited.

Tonight, I am supposed to have a cake decorating class with some friends. That should be a lot of fun! Tomorrow, church and royals game. Should be fun too... Don't know about it all though. May make a trip. We'll see.

The dog has been crazy this morning already. I took his dish out of the kennel because he tends to play with it a lot and tear the rubber edge off. He ran out and knocked a candle holder off the bookcase, and then preceeded to try to eat the candle out of it and then jumped on the sofa! Needless to say, he was scolded and put back in the kennel. Sometimes I feel like the unloved parent, because he is always crazy/misbehaved when I have him in the mornings... maybe its from being in the kennel all night, I don't know. Sushi the cat is a little crazy this morning, too.

Blog numero uno

2009-06-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

Just to get a little start on the blog, I am going to write about this week's events. Who knows if anyone will actually read this stuff. I used to blog all the time, so I decided that I would start up again. We're planning a wedding (on a holiday, no less) and a big move in July. I am not sure what really made us decide to really complicate and stress our lives to the limit, but hey, it might be fun? I kid... I am really excited about this upcoming wedding. Originally, we had planned for October. We found out in March that my nephew, Bryson has leukemia. My Dad passed away in June, now with Bryson's illness - our family just really needs to pull together and be there for each other. J.R. and I decided the best way to deal with all of that is to pack up and move to Houston. We will be there for my Mom, for my brother and his girlfriend and our nephew. Since we decided to make this move in July - kind of figured whats the point of getting married in October, we'd have to come back for that... I came across the idea of a July 4th wedding. J.R. really liked the idea, so we ran with it! I can't wait for the day to get here! It's about 22 days away, and I tell you - stress?! ha, look up the definition - you'll see a picture of our smiling faces.

We met up with our photographer for the wedding today. Her name is Jeni. We met, signed the contract, and went over things. I am super excited, she seems to be a perfect fit for us. Not to mention, the beautiful work that she does.

J.R. hurt his back yesterday, woke up with it hurting. I am pretty sure he did something to it at work and probably didn't realize and sleeping on his back probably didn't help. Poor guy. He called in today and he never does that!! While we were at his Dad's house, he used "Jiggling George" - its this crazy contraption, that you put your hips/butt onto and your legs/ankles go onto another part and it jiggles your body. It's supposed to jiggle out all your kinks and make you feel better... we shall see later this morning if it helped or not.

I have to go back to work this weekend, which I'm absolutely thrilled about. It just seems like there are never enough days off, or time to get things done. I guess I am lucky that I really only have to work 3-4 days a week. I work overnights usually a 12 hour shift, but often ends up being 13,14,15,16 hour shifts... I like my job most days, but with the wedding planning, and moving... YIKES!! I really haven't even started packing up the house yet. I've gone through things - deciding what to keep and what not to keep... but that's about it. I am selling my kitchen table and island. And possibly (well I'm debating, rather...) or not to sell the sofa.

We got a house in Houston. It's 3 bedrooms, and 2 baths. Fenced in yard for our dog, and a hot tub! We are really excited about OUR first house! The dog is a 6 month old golden doodle. (golden retriever/poodle). His name is Oliver, but we call him Ollie. He is a very smart, cute, playful guy. However, our 6 year old siamese tomcat, Sushi, isn't real fond of him. They harass each other. Usually Ollie rolls Sushi across the floor trying to play with him... and then later Sushi will walk in front of Ollie's kennel meowing - more or less "ha ha, I'm out, you're not" So it's hard to feel sorry for the cat when they play.

I should close, as it's late - I am a night owl, but am getting sleepy.

I will continue to blog about our adventures and all with the wedding planning, moving, and our life of course. I will warn, though... I am a very blunt person. I will say whatever I think and feel. I am not going to sugarcoat anything. I am posting this on the web, so comments will be made. But, That's how it goes... Doesn't mean that we will listen, doesn't mean we will skip subjects or not blog about things that upset us, etc. So be prepared - as we will prepare ourselves for whatever may arise with doing so.

Thanks for stopping by, hope you continue to do so! :-)